Career Regrets?
(we’ve all had them — here’s what Mid-career Professionals Wish They’d Known Earlier…)
Let’s talk about regrets, rewinding the clock might not be an option but it’s never too late to learn from the past.
Looking back, most people wish they could have done something differently. We spend just about one-third of our lives at work, so there are bound to be some bad decisions and missed opportunities along the way. The hope is that we recognize our biggest disappointments and take steps to fix them while we can.
To that end, I regularly ask my coaching clients three questions:
● What do you wish you’d known earlier in your career?
● What would you change if you could magically rewind the clock?
● What would you regret not doing over the course of your life or career?
While answers vary between age groups, professionals in the middle or later stages of their careers are remarkably consistent in their regrets, no matter what industry or organization they’re in.
Five key themes stand out. I’m sharing these with the hope that organizations, managers, and individuals of all generations can draw insights from these experiences and take proactive steps to achieve what’s possible — before it’s too late.
Regret #1: “I wish I’d put the passion before the paycheck.”
…and also before the job title, the corner office, and all of those other shiny things that seem too good to turn down. We all have bills to pay, but classic motivation research proves that salary and status are hygiene factors, designed to keep you from being dissatisfied, but not necessarily making you feel fulfilled.
Many will tell you: do what you love, and success and happiness follow. If an organization is not revving up engagement in its employees by providing challenging work, recognition and sense of purpose, then it’s missing a huge opportunity to keep people loyal, productive and engaged.
Regret #2: “I wish I had looked beyond the daily grind.”
Early in your career, it’s easy to lose sight of other things in life besides your job. Working 50, 60, or even 70 hour weeks — because you want to make a good impression, because your clients (or boss) are relying on you, because there’s important work to be done — may have propelled your career forward, but at what cost? Time is really the only limited resource you have that you can never get back.
This sense of regret isn’t only about working too much and neglecting family, friends and hobbies. Rather, it’s failing to lift our heads above the parapet to see the bigger picture — to visualize, plan, and prioritize the life we truly desire. Psychologists emphasize the importance of setting life goals, not just career ones. Yet, for many, it often takes reaching a significant milestone, like a “big zero” birthday or 20-year work anniversary, to realize that fulfillment is found not only through work but also within the rich tapestry of experiences we weave over time.
Regret #3: “I wish I had taken more risks.”
At some point in every career, there’s a now-or-never moment where you have to decide whether to take a leap of faith or stick with the familiar. Often, this moment is tinged with a fear of failure, which psychologists say is hardwired into our brains. In prehistoric times, the risks we faced were life-threatening, so our brains learned to err on the side of caution.
Yet, almost uniformly, those who choose to stay in the comfort zone report feelings of stagnation and frustration where they’re stuck in a rut and no longer working on meaningful challenges. Going back to school, changing cities, starting a business, switching roles or industries — taking chances like these may seem daunting, but fortune favors the courageous. Regret is often greater for the risks not taken than the opportunities seized.
Regret #4: “I wish I’d spoken up and advocated for myself more.”
It’s a sad truth of workplace politics that the loudest voices often get the most attention, while those who quietly deliver excellence take the backseat. Some have a preference for introversion; others dislike self-promotion; some feel marginalized in an organization dominated by a certain gender or culture. Whatever the reason, failing to advocate for yourself means you’re counting on someone else to champion your cause. What happens if that advocate disappears?
The fact is, power dynamics are a part of every work environment. Avoiding it is not the solution; understanding and navigating them is. You need to be vigilant when it comes to crafting your brand and managing your reputation, and the groundwork for putting yourself forward starts early in your career.
Regret #5: “I wish I’d networked more.”
For those in professional roles, a top regret is over-focusing on gaining credentials and experience as a way to move up in their career. They learn the hard way that making contacts and nurturing relationships is just as important for professional success.
Building a diverse network requires work — you have to be prepared to give more than you take and the results are worth it. According to a LinkedIn survey, 85% of all jobs are filled through networking. Other research has connected networking to many career benefits, inlcuding enhanced learning, performance, salary growth and career optimism.
If you’re in the “networking feels dirty” camp, it’s possible you’re approaching it with the wrong mindset. In the words of Harvard Business Review, “even minor tweaks in how you think about a goal or the language you use to describe it can make a difference.” HBR recommend switching from a “prevention” to a “promotion” mindset to help you frame networking as an opportunity for discovery and advancement, rather than a chore.
What next?
Regret doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom. See it as a springboard for better decisions. If any of these regrets resonate with you, take a step back and assess how you’re investing your time and energy.
Do you have a clear understanding of what you want from your life and career?
Have you formulated a plan and strategy to attain those goals?
Are you nurturing relationships that will bolster your journey?
The second silver lining is that we’re living and working longer than ever before. Retirement, once considered the end of our working lives, now marks the beginning of a new chapter. Many are using these active years to rectify past decisions and explore activities they find meaningful.
In essence, it’s never too late to course correct. As long as you’re alive, you have the power to steer your life toward a path that aligns with your values and strengths. The only regret is failing to take action while the opportunity still exists.
So, tell me, what do you wish you’d known ealier in your career?
